"I promise to be nice to you, even when I don't feel like it"

June 8, 2010

 

 

I attended a wedding recently where the bride and groom vowed not only to love each other, but also to be nice to each other even when they don’t feel like being nice to each other. I think this is the most romantic vow I’ve ever heard! It’s also very realistic – if you are in a committed relationship, there are likely times when your partner is seriously annoying. However, at the end of the day, our behavior towards our partner is what “loving” them is really all about.

 

I really like Robyn Walser’s and Darrah Westrup’s book The Mindful Couple: How Acceptance and Mindfulness Can Lead you to the Love you want. It’s a quick read, and yet chock full of great ideas of how you can practice loving behaviors in your relationship. In their chapter on Love as a verb they say:

 

“According to Anais Nin, ‘Love never dies a natural death’. Love dies because we neglect it, grow weary of it, turn away from it, or plan to escape if things don’t work out. What leads to relationships not working out? Treating love as a feeling, not as an action”.

 

It takes commitment and practice (and lots of missteps!) to live this value. Another quote from the book is that it is normal for us to experience “a vast universe of emotions when connecting deeply with another human being” (ha!) many of which, shall we say, test our commitment. They recommend asking yourself each day, how can I be loving today towards my partner? Wise words indeed.

 

If you are interested in learning more about this book, click here:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0058J07HO/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

 

Thanks for reading!